Happy, Happy Friday

Not much is going on here. Korbin is talking so much and learning a ton from his teacher. He moved to the two’s classroom after his June 18th birthday. He is really getting to be such a big boy. He says, “I’m not a baby mama, I’m a beig boy.’ He seems to have a slight New Jersey accent (although he is very much the California) and it’s really cute. He would like to drive now and has told me his legs are longer now. I told him a few days a go he couldn’t drive until his legs were longer. He has no idea how much I would love for him to drive me around on errands. Some day I suppose and it will likely be here before I know it. I love this little guy to the moon and back again and I am so happy to be his mom.

Happy, happy Friday!

Funny

Korbin is laying next too me in a toddler slumber, but just a few hours ago I said, there is something on your nose. he said, it’s a buger. I need go to doctor…to the buger doctor. Apparently he had a nostril issue that could only be resolved by some unknown ‘buger doctor.’ This kid is a hoot. I love him more each day!

Summertime and the living’s easy.

Work, arg, it’s been so stressful and overwhelming, but Korbin has been a dream.  At least at the moment since he’s been asleep for a few hours.  He is growing like a weed and I’m near tears at the thought of him turning two next Thursday.  I’m taking Thursday and Friday off to have a potty training weekend before he moves to the two’s room that can actually facilitate his needing to go.  The toddler room he’s in now has no toilets in the room so if the situation isn’t right, they just can’t take him.  It’s so frustrating, but the countdown begins.  We’ll try this weekend in ‘ummerwares’, as he calls them, and we’ll see how he does.  I’ve had him without diapers for 3-4 hour burts at a time and he does okay (I’ve done it a whole 3 times so far, I’m really scared).  I think he’ll be okay since his language is there.

So my question of the week is:  How do I get a passport for Korbin?  I was told his birth certificate will take a YEAR to arrive and that I can fight for his social security card, so I’ll check it out next week.  I would rather do the leg work by phone instead of having a potty training boy waiting in line for hours.  That is truly an accident waiting to happen.  Iwant to travel out of the country and that’s so not an option without a passport. 

I’ll check in to give an update on pot-pot (as he calls the potty), and the whole passport, ss card thing.  Have a grand evening!

The 7th was a good day!

So it’s official.  I went to the social workers building/meeting area and signed all the legal documentation for adopting Korbin Elias (insert our last name here).  His social worker ‘S’ will submit the forms to the court on the 15th of this month and then, best case scenario she could receive our finilization date right then and there.  The other social worker ‘M’ said she just filed paperwork last week and received an April 10th finalization date.  Wow, that’s really quick.  ‘M’ would be surprised if we had to wait until the end of this month.  The appointments are always on a Monday or Friday and ‘S’ doesn’t work on Friday so it will definately be a Monday.  Maybe the 27th will be our date.  That would be splendid.  I was kind of bummed though, there wasn’t any paperwork or medical history from his bio’s.  I really wanted to be able to have that to give to him so he could have a window on the family that created him.  Oh well, sometimes you don’t always get what you want.  I’m just so happy to be able to keep him forever and watch him grow into a (hopefully), competent adult.

Here are some photos from our exciting afternoon.  Oh, by the way, it only took 30 minutes to sign this heap and stack of papers.  Also, Korbin was too funny.  He wanted a pen and paper so he could sign everytime I did.  Too cute.

I'm really focused and Korbin's 'on edge'

Here I am actually signing the paperwork. I love this photo!

Snow Day

So after driving 2 hours and some change we arrived at a beautiful snow resort and realized there really wasn’t any child-friendly zone for Korbin to experience snow for the first time.  As we were heading back down hill hoping to find just an area off the street that is flat enough for a one year old to play for about 30 min or so we stumbled upon an elementary school and finally we were able to get out and experience all that this tail end of winter had to offer.  We also felt so motivated to get out while the weather was still nice.  We were playing in the snow and it was a whopping 50, maybe 60 degrees.  We finally took off our jackets because we were starting to get overheated.  Too funny!  Here are a few photos of the fun…

Feeling (now melting) snow.

Mommy and Baby pose in the snow

Melting snow is funny.

WooHoo!!!

Wow, what a day yesterday was.  Okay, here’s the lowdown.  Originally we (everyone involved) agreed to an 11:00 pickup on Tuesday, then i was to go see the social workers at 11:30.  Well that time didn’t work for everyone so we changed the meeting time of the social workers to 1:30 which would mean a 1:00 pickup.  The social workers were to inform the foster mom.  Well she called me at 12:15 to see where I was.  We called back to say we were on our way for the 1:00 pickup.  She thought it was 12 and by the time I got to the social worker they had that is was 11 and thought I had already left.  Curiouser and Curiouser.  But here’s the real kicker….she had her mom bring him and when they arrived I figured it wasn’t her because there was no car seat.  She had him in a comforter buckled up in the back seat!!!  She then gets out of the car and says, are you the ones here for the baby.  Then the outfit he is in (remember, I’m kind of a snob about this), is not the outfit I sent for him.  And when I eventually change him the pants are 3-6 months and the onesie is 6-9 months.  He has baby cleavage and an elastic waistband mark.  It was so unbelievable!!  And of course he’s in shoes that are a size too small.  I put on shoes that actually fit and in his car seat he kept wiggling his feet around while laughing. 

So, on to the social worker meeting.  I signed placement papers which pretty much explained the monthly stipend and the visitation info with the bio-mom.  We (my mom was there at pickup time), explained the lack of a carseat and the uber small cloathing and she made a formal complaint to investigate the lack of a carseat.  Good, at least someone is doing their job.  So the visitation arrangement is every Sunday from 2-4 but apparently she gets fidgety after an hour.  (I know, after an HOUR, if I hadn’t seen my child all week 59 minutes would not fill that void.)  So, I’ll likely bring a book and hopefully they have a seperate seating area so I can let her have her time and be done with it.  The social worker shared that Korbin was taken into custody on January 4 so this is exactly 6 months coming up.  Because he is so little she will be given another 6months (of services such as section 8 and food stamps) to get herself in order.  If she misses 3 visits her visitation will be discountinued.  I know it’s not nice, but I’m anticipating her failure, again.  I actually am just hoping she feels comfortable with me caring for her child and she can tell herself he will be okay and that she doesn’t have to fight for him anymore.  She’s not putting up a huge fight to begin with, but she still is in the picture.

Now, on to the evening.  Korbin was such a toddler yesterday.  He was into everything and in such a spicy little mood.  I think he totally got the gravity of the move, because he was more temperamental and having little tantrums on and off when things wouldn’t go his way.  He also was exhausted because the mother of the foster mom who dropped him off said he hadn’t napped all day.  So he slept for an hour at the social worker meeting and then fell asleep at home at 6:30 and when I went to move him to his bed 2 hours later (I know, why the heck did I wait so long), he woke up.  I got him a bottle and he kind or fell back to sleep then by 9:15 he was fully awake.  By 11 (at night!) he was showing signs of sleepiness so I gave him a bath, another bottle and he was sort of asleep then he kept trying to clap his hands and pull his hair to keep himself awake.  By this time, I was EXHAUSTED.  I was so excited earlier in the morning that I barely slept, but by this hour I was so over being awake.  I finally just laid him down, frustrated at myself for doing such a stupid attempt at a schedule, and he started crying.  He fussed for like a min and then I just crawled out of the room since he was crawling around his bed fussing and trying to fight sleep.  Yes, you heard me correctly, I crawled out of the room.  I didn’t want him to see me walk away and cause some form of distorted bonding.  Last time he had his overnights he had a rougher first day.  I think it’s just the getting used to all of it.  Plus it’s really hard to know what his morning consisted of so I cannot base an afternoon and evening based on ‘I wonder’s.’  Oh, well, today will be better.  Right now the prince is asleep, of course, and I will have a relaxing morning of coffee and laundry. 

Until tomorrows adventures begin…Melanie out. 

Today’s Visit

Oh, there will be many posts with this title over the next few weeks.  I had sucha grand visit today.  I picked Korbin up at 10 and didn’t have to bring him back to his grumpy, bitter foster momma until 3.  I held him in my arms while he slept and enjoyed every minute of it.  I am slowly falling in love with this little guy and I am just so bummed he isn’t home for a few more weeks.  Today was so much better than last week.  I was in tears as I rounded the corner to bring him home.  I have been waiting 3 years to walk my little one into their new house and it totally hit me today just moments before the key entered the lock.  I am so looking forward to July 1st when he can be home (hopefully… I hold back ‘just-in-case’ reservation, ’cause you never know).

I have so much I would like to accomplish before he comes home, but since he is so little he could really care less about how much laundry I have to get done.

It was kind of sad when it came time to return him.  I guess there was just too much newness for one day and while we were getting gas in the car he started to cough a little and puke.  Puddles upon puddles of vomit, but he wasn’t crying and he must of felt better because he was all talkative and playing while I was attempting to clean him up.  I wish I had a better relationship with his FM so I could give her a call and see how he is doing.  She is having a difficult time with this but she really doesn’t have to be so intimidatingly mean.  I am trying my hardest to be friendly every time I see her, but it’s so difficult when she is so, well, not very nice.  I want to say, ‘you didn’t give birth to him, you’ve known him for 3+ months, what the heck is your problem?’  I’m so glad she bonds quickly, but as an adult on the planet you need to know yourself so you know how you would be able to respond to growing to love a child and having them leave with little to no notice.  I wish she would read a blog or two so she could see that sometimes you get hours notice before a child leaves, not a month like she has had.  Grrrr, she’s such a pain in my tush.

Oh, well, I get to see my son on Wednesday from 11-5, he will be turning one and I can’t wait to take a ton of pictures.  Also, he came in 3-6 month clothing (mind you he will be 1 in two days), so I quickly changed him 9-month clothing, which was a little loose, but gave him room to breath at least).  Ugh, this woman is loosing points really quick in my book.  Until Wednesday.

Visitation update

So I see the Prince today, in a few hours actually and yesterday I finally spoke to a real person.  After leaving voicemail upon voicemail and email upon email I finally was able to talk to the adoption coordinator (AC).  She called and said that the foster mom (FM) had given her a call to reschedule one of the visits for next week to a Monday instead of a Tuesday because she has jury duty.  The AC told her that if she gets called into jury duty she should notconsider using anyone else as a babysitter except for me.  The FM then wanted to double check that the visits were still supposed to be just an hour and the AC told her they were to increase as of next week.  The visitations starting Monday should be at least half a day and work their way up to a full day especially since he will have a two-day overnight visit on the 26th.  Thennnn, I realized that his doctor’s appointment (the one he was supposed to have Monday, but it was rescheduled until after he was 1) is scheduled for my next all day visit.  So today I will need to have her reschedule that because I do not want to have an all day visit after he get shots and probably feels pretty crappy. 

The best thing the AC said was that his move date is the 30th of the month.  WOOHOO, I just gained a day.  That is all I really wanted.  Well, I wanted him home the moment I met him, but with FM’s attachment and dragging her feet (I don’t blame her, he’s adorable), I am just happy to have him home before July, even if it’s just a day.  Today I can make a time-off request for the two days I have him and his perhaps his move-in date.  i just made a schedule which should work for her, I am having a hard time being flexible and putting her feelings into this when she has had him for such a short time, but it’s a little easier knowing I will have him forever.

Our first meeting

And what a cutie he is! (He appeared to be a mix of Hispanic and African American.) Strangely though it was a very odd situation.  The foster mom has had him for a little over 3 months but she wasn’t really aware that he was going to be moving to an adoptive home.  Sooooo she was a little less than joyful to meet me.  There were a flock of SW’s explaining the situation to her and explaining who I was.  As they were explaining all this to her, she scooped him up, sat him in her lap and crossed her arms.  I felt really crappy that this was all news to her.  She seemed a little bitter and irritated.  I have an email in draft for my SW to explain my frustration with the agreed upon visitations.  So far I won’t see him again until next Monday for a doctor’s appointment (he gets shots, I don’t want to be the bad guy for that one)!  Then I see him again on the Thursday.  We initially planned an overnight visit for the third weekend in the month and she said she had plans for his birthday so that wouldn’t work.  When we bumped it up to the weekend of the 14th she said that is too soon for her.  I totally get that this is way difficult for her and completely unexpected, so I will give her her time, but this needs to be in the best interest in the child.  I want to give her time to wrap her head around it, but by next Monday I will be able to see how he is.  (If he feels comfortable or not.)  He was a very happy and playful little guy.  Very friendly, waving, smiling, clicking his tongue.  He has a funny little laugh too, so my thought is, if he is comfortable, after not seeing me for nearly a week he would be fine with longer and more frequent visits.  Tentatively the move in date for him is July 1st.  That is just so far off, although do-able if it’s the only way to do this.

Also bizarre was that his bio-mom showed up at the location just seconds after I got there with my mom.  The SW’s shuffled us off and then they said the foster mom has contact with the bio-mom.  It was just ODD that she was there.  I wanted to introduce myself but there was no need and it was just a ‘huh’ moment.  So much strangeness, so I will keep y’all posted.  Hopefully after our Monday visit I will have some better progress.  I just don’t see how having two 1-2 hour visits a week can really help a child adjust.  I’m sure for the first week, it’s a great idea, but if the foster mom is not happy with the whole idea it could easily sabotage the situation because she would be irritated or sad each time she meets with me.  That’s not good energy for him.  Anyway, enough of my rambling.  Back to waiting.

Oh, and I don’t even have a picture of him beacuse I didn’t feel it was a good idea to take pictures of him when the foster mom was stressing about the whole situation.

Next week I meet the Prince

I am so very excited.  I meet my little guy next Wednesday.  This week was really busy for both of the social workers (not for me, but no one asked), so I will be meeting my SW and the adoption coordinator on Wednesday at 1 pm Pacific time and then the foster mom comes with the Prince at 1:30 and I get to ask her a ton of questions as well as spend a few hours with him.  I know 11 months can kind of be on the fence.  He may do really well with new people or be so not cool.  I am thinking I will be bribing him with Gerber puffs, cheerios, noise toys and something soft and cuddly.  I was told the visitations will depend on him (previously my SW mentioned it will also depend on the foster family).  I am thinking we will should have a good connection and hopefully by NEXT WEEKEND I will have him home.  I don’t know why that is so important to me, but it’s been such a long journey the days are slowly dragging by now that I am in the final stretch.  I have washed virtually every item in my home, whether it needed it or not.    Last week I was a little freaked out because it finally seemed real, but now I’m so ready and Wednesday doesn’t seem so far off right now.  I requested a recent picture of him and it looks like the adoption coordinator was still working on that.  I would like to know what he looks like before I meet with him, but if not, that’s okay as well.  I can’t believe he is a real boy.  I also found the cutest clothes.  Thankfully there are some really cute things out there for boys.   (I know things will not be a piece of cake from here on out.  There will be hearings and more paperwork and God knows what else, but for the time being he will be here and not some distant dream.)

More updates to come (sooner than later)….