adjustment

So being a new mommy and working full time is truly a workout.  Theeeeen to top it all off I just got an email from my SW on Thursday the this little Prince has 3 of his older siblings back in the system because grandma couldn’t care for them.  They are, get this, 2, 3, and 4.  Yep and the baby is 1.  That was one busy momma.  I, of course, said yes.  Not because I’m crazy and think I could actually go from single to mommy of 4 without any problems, but because I want Korbin to know I tried.  My home currently isn’t licensed for 4 and I would have to move, but if that is what is needed to keep siblings together then this is what I would do.  I would want someone to do that for me if I was in the system and had siblings floating around.  It may or may not work out.  But this is the second time they have been removed from mom’s care so they will not be returning.  I would just need to know what led grandma to relinquish care.  If she’s 80 and ailing and not able to physically care for them then that’s fine, but if they are the spawn of Satan then that’s another thing.  I would care to assume they are not drug babies, yet moving around a lit can really mess with a person, especially a little person.  I will pursue this more on Monday, but thought it was an interesting turn of events.  I always knew I wanted 4, but didn’t anticipate it happening withing months of having one.  So, we will see.  I leave this completely in God’s hands and whatever happens, happens.

As far as Korbin’s adjustment is going.  Well, things have been better and better each day.  Last week we had an asthma scare and had to take him to the ER for breathing treatments, chest X-rays, antibiotics and the works.  He’s doing great now.  I am back to work full-time but I am able to be in his classroom a good 3-5 hours a day and I think that helps with our adjustment and bonding.  He gets all excited when I enter his classroom and he starts cheering and clapping and screaming  and runs over all smiles.  It’s the cutest thing and I absolutely love it.  It’s even funny when he’s mad (apparently he does not like this ‘no’ word I reference), he’ll fuss and say, ‘mommamommamomma.’  It’s too cute.  Well, it’s not always cute, but you get my drift.  I think we are both quite smitten with each other.  Today he has been catching up on his sleep since he is still a little weary at school and he will only sleep in one to two 50 min blocks of time.

More to follow, and pictures too.  I have been trying to take foster friendly photos (you know, the ones that are not full frontal face shots, since he isn’t officially mine yet), but those are hard since he’s so darn cute.  I’ll keep trying.

Our first meeting

And what a cutie he is! (He appeared to be a mix of Hispanic and African American.) Strangely though it was a very odd situation.  The foster mom has had him for a little over 3 months but she wasn’t really aware that he was going to be moving to an adoptive home.  Sooooo she was a little less than joyful to meet me.  There were a flock of SW’s explaining the situation to her and explaining who I was.  As they were explaining all this to her, she scooped him up, sat him in her lap and crossed her arms.  I felt really crappy that this was all news to her.  She seemed a little bitter and irritated.  I have an email in draft for my SW to explain my frustration with the agreed upon visitations.  So far I won’t see him again until next Monday for a doctor’s appointment (he gets shots, I don’t want to be the bad guy for that one)!  Then I see him again on the Thursday.  We initially planned an overnight visit for the third weekend in the month and she said she had plans for his birthday so that wouldn’t work.  When we bumped it up to the weekend of the 14th she said that is too soon for her.  I totally get that this is way difficult for her and completely unexpected, so I will give her her time, but this needs to be in the best interest in the child.  I want to give her time to wrap her head around it, but by next Monday I will be able to see how he is.  (If he feels comfortable or not.)  He was a very happy and playful little guy.  Very friendly, waving, smiling, clicking his tongue.  He has a funny little laugh too, so my thought is, if he is comfortable, after not seeing me for nearly a week he would be fine with longer and more frequent visits.  Tentatively the move in date for him is July 1st.  That is just so far off, although do-able if it’s the only way to do this.

Also bizarre was that his bio-mom showed up at the location just seconds after I got there with my mom.  The SW’s shuffled us off and then they said the foster mom has contact with the bio-mom.  It was just ODD that she was there.  I wanted to introduce myself but there was no need and it was just a ‘huh’ moment.  So much strangeness, so I will keep y’all posted.  Hopefully after our Monday visit I will have some better progress.  I just don’t see how having two 1-2 hour visits a week can really help a child adjust.  I’m sure for the first week, it’s a great idea, but if the foster mom is not happy with the whole idea it could easily sabotage the situation because she would be irritated or sad each time she meets with me.  That’s not good energy for him.  Anyway, enough of my rambling.  Back to waiting.

Oh, and I don’t even have a picture of him beacuse I didn’t feel it was a good idea to take pictures of him when the foster mom was stressing about the whole situation.

So the contractions are about 5 min. apart

I talked with my social worker on Friday and she told me a few babies (not one, but a few) have been born and that they are just doing the last min. checks to make sure there is no extended family able to provide care and that I should cross my fingers.  So, I’m so very excited and I feel confident that my child has been born, possibly still in the hospital or at their temporary home waiting for mommy to come pick them up and hold them until my arms ache.  So I have a final decision on names, now that I don’t have to worry about how a two-year-old would transition to a new name.  After going through thousands of names and books and websites I have decided and fallen in love with the names Korbin Elias and Eden Olivia.  My last name starts with an M so any name (first or middle) beginning with B was sooo out of the question.  Kids will make fun of you no matter what, but don’t give them fuel for the fire.  So there’s the long and short of it.  I am putting the infant seat in my car tomorrow morning and then I’ll get some newborn diapers/size one and I’ll be all ready for little Korbin/Eden.

 On a side note, I started reading the Secret and it’s a must read.  It is altering my reality for the positive and I am smiling a lot more than usual.  And that–is a good thing!!

Social Worker Aftermath

So her questions were painless, what is your relationship like with you parents, dating experiences, who is the most influential person in your life and why (I said my mom, should I have said Jesus), what was your childhood like, what are your feelings about the biological parents, how would you describe your life right now (I said good and that I’m content, but I wanted to say I’m a wee bit stressed since this is year 3, blah, blah, blah), and what was the most traumatic time in your life and how did you handle it (um, my dad walking out January 1st of ‘04, ’cause that was one of the things on his New Year’s resolution list, along with being financially stable and getting his teeth fixed)?  She was done in 45 min and said once she writes the homestudy she’ll submit it to her supervisor to sign off on then I get a congratulations letter in the mail.  But then she said the best part (and twice) that there is a meeting this afternoon and she has submitted my name to be matched with a baby or child.  Oh maybe I’ll have grand news by the end of the week.  If the child is already on the adoption track we will both have the same social worker, if they are still in foster care and no parental rights have been terminated then we will likely have different social workers.  I really didn’t care much after she said she submitted my name to be matched.  Now depending on how many children and families are being submitted and what extensive needs the children have I know realistically I may or may not get matched, but to know I’m in the mix feels like deal or no deal odds, and that’s pretty good.

Social Worker Visit #2

My social worker will be dropping by at 9 Pacific time to do her second visit.  I’m not sure how long she’ll take or if she’ll do another once through the house (I’ll be making my bed and mopping the bathroom floors just in case).  I am hoping and praying and hoping and praying that she’ll have a referral for me.  I am so very over the waiting.  It’s starting to get really emotionally heart wrenching right now.  Friends of mine are due any second with their babies (one it’s her second and the other it’s her third).  I think it’s most difficult to know they will be having their baby (and one has had a lot of difficulties with miscarriages and the like) likely before I have mine and I’ve been waiting for 3 years!!!  Oh I need to just stop before the tears come back.  Anyway, I digress, I will let everyone know as soon as I know something from the SW.  Again, hoping and praying and hoping and praying she has wonderful news for me.  If not, tomorrow’s goin’ be a crappy day!

License Arrival

WooHoo!!!  My foster care license arrived in the mail today as did my stipend checks that cover the cost of my CPR class and my fingerprinting.  That is so nice.  That will happily go towards my fund.  I love with there is some form of progress so now I can call my social worker by Wednesday to schedule her next visit.  A simple reminder to inform her that I received my license in the mail and I look forward to our next meeting.  “So I can clear my calendar, when did you want to schedule that?”  That sounds pushy and nice enough at the same time.

Good News on a Friday

So my social worker responds glowingly to emails.  Yeah me!  I sent her one a day before she returned from her vacation because I wanted to make sure she received all the paperwork I sent, yadda, yadda, yadda.  She responded that she has a great vacation and that she couldn’t schedule my second visit until she received all my paperwork.  Although slightly bummed it just lit a fire under me to complete everything.  Then I was emailing a friend back and forth and she said the reference letter they sent her was ruined by the rain and she needed a new one, so I emailed the social worker back to let her know to resend it and that I was able to schedule a physical but they only perform them once a month so my appointment isn’t until the 12th of February.  And I added a little sad face at the end of my email, but signed off, “I thought you’d like to know, thanks for all your help thusfar.”  She then emails me back to say she’ll resend the letter to my friend and she’ll call me in 2-3 weeks to schedule my individual meeting.  I’m really excited because I won’t even have my physical done by then.  Annnnd I remember when she first met with me that she said there have been many times that she has a child/children matched with the family before their second meeting.  Sometimes she’ll surprise the family on their second meeting with a possible match and other times children will already be placed in the home by the time she has her second meeting.  I’m hoping someone or two someones files have crossed her desk that she thinks would be perfect for me and now she knows we’ll need to meet sooner than the middle of next month.  Wishful thinking perhaps, but who cares, it makes it one happy Friday!