So I saw that movie Clickwith Adam Sandler I think it was and I wouldn’t want to fast forward through all the good in life but I sure would like to pause at it once and a while. Work is so stressing me out right now and I just want to be a fun mom. I feel like I am so grumpy and exhausted at the end of the day that the last thing I want is a two foot high cling-on wrapped around my legs.
It’s terrible, I know. I waited (quite impatiently) for 3 years to bring home this sweet, funny, busy little person, just to be here wishing he’d give me some space. I was googling like a mad person and everything I found talked about a very familiar thing called PADS (Post Adoption Depression Syndrome). It effects about 65% of adoptive families and seems to be the culmination of everything hitting you all at once. The waiting, the working, the trying, the fighting all for this person you don’t even know. Then they arrive. Then their is the loss of self, the work, the lack of sleep, the adjusting, the constant everything, the feeling less than (or can we just call it ‘mother guilt’), the financial impact and everything else you can think of about being a new parent and family. I think I am just feeling underwater right now and I really could use some away from work time. Perhaps in a space with no cell service!
Aside from the weight of life, not much is new. It has been picture day at our center since Wednesday. Korbin’s spring photos are going to be the cutest! I am hoping to make it to the snow this weekend so I can get some shots of him enjoying the snow for the first time. That should be too much fun.
